On Friends & Grits

kris and me

I took a trip back to NC late Friday night to be with my bestest bud. She’d had surgery this past Thursday. Did she expect me to be there? No. Did she want me to be there? Well, maybe, but she would have never asked. But did I want to be there and know that I really did need to be there? You bet – and I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Although I know we’re far in distance, I know I’m never too far to be there when I need to be.

My best friend and I for the most part, we grew up together. I’ve known her since the 4th grade and I must say, we’ve been pretty tight. We’ve been through a bunch of rough times and an overwhelmingly number of even better times. We have both changed immensely over those years and if I must say, we’ve both become people we are both pretty darn proud of. On the other hand, we’ve become radically different and of course we have a lot less in common than we did when we were wandering down the halls in high school. But through all of those changes, our love of and respect for one another has never wavered.

While we have always respected one another’s opinions and decisions, we definitely do not always agree. In particular, her recent surgery is a decision I could have never made. She’d decided months ago to undergo gastric bypass surgery. My best friend is the type of person who, when she does something, she does it with her entire heart and she never looks back. And making this choice is no exception. I think, rather I know, that we talked about it for 90% of every conversation we’ve had since Fall! It was the first thing on her mind in the morning, before bed, and every minute in between. She was totally intensely passionate about it. So you know she was dead-set on doing it. And although the thought of her having surgery worried me silly, I knew that for her to make this decision she must have known what she was doing and knew everything about what was involved. She’d researched and researched until she knew with certainty that this was right for her and that she was ready for all things that would follow. And for me this was comforting – I knew she’d be ok and I knew she was doing the right thing. The right thing for her.

Would gastric bypass surgery ever be something I’d consider? Would I ever want to make my stomach small so that I can eat less? Hell no. I have such a strong relationship with food – and it’s a bond I could never ever break. While she will eventually be able to eat most things she’d previously eaten, she can’t eat nearly as much and will essentially be limited to 2 oz portions per meal. Wowsers!! And no thank you. That’s just like a big bite per meal! Now, is food one of the most favoritist things in her life like it is for me? Well, no. Is she spending three nights a week in culinary school just because she likes food and because she can? Well, no. But still. I’m sure that nonetheless, it’s got to be hard. Although I can never imagine making this choice for my life, the simple fact that she is my best friend means that I support her no matter what decision she makes. I smile at her, I hug her, I rub lotion on her feet, I watch her sip won ton-less won ton soup while I inhale vegetable lo mein and a greasy egg roll, I watch Food Network with her (why she chooses to watch this given her situation is beyond me), and all the while I think about how strong she is and how even though I could never do what she’s doing, how much respect I have for her just knowing that she will be ok and that, if it’s possible, she’ll be even better of a person than she is today.

And so, a trip to NC usually leads me to a point where I’d talk about a tasty, fatty, greasy meal I enjoyed while I was here. Usually when I go to NC for a holiday or weekend trip, we plan visits around the food that we miss: we hit up Bojangles for some dirty rice and fried chicken, we visit my gramma at which time we also incorporate a visit to my Aunt Faye, we find some sweet tea, and if I’m lucky one day I might get to eat at Bandido’s again for my favorite black bean quesadilla. This weekend, you might imagine, was different. I stayed with her as much as possible and only left her side to get some take-out. Food was not the highlight of this trip. But something much more important was – being there for my best friend, and even if she didn’t need me I know she was happy I was there. And on a more selfish level, I needed to be there to further confirm that I knew she was ok. To stop myself from thinking about it constantly. And maybe the procedure itself is straightforward, it’s one thing to hear about someone you don’t know going through it than it is to know that the person you share all of your secrets with is going through it. It takes a lot for her to cry, and a lot less for me, and we both did when we saw each other and I knew instantly I’d made the right decision for the both of us.

So do I have a wonderful recipe of Southern foodie experience from this trip like I usually would? Nope. But I will post a recipe I made the other day that reminded me of home. It was a lovely stuffed bone-in pork chop with tomato sauce and GRITS! The grits are the southern part that made me so happy. Leftovers were even better because the sauce had really soaked in to the grits and pork. There are a lot of ingredients and lots of prep, so feel free to substitute the stuffing (or even leave it out) if you don’t love cutting and prepping like I do.

And whether you make this recipe or something else tonight, may you really savor every bite and be thankful for the day. And for your large stomach šŸ™‚ I know I am.

stuffed chops

Stuffed Pork Chops w/ Creamy Grits
Adapted from Cooking Light magazine

4 cups water
4 cups fresh orange juice
1/2 cup coarsely chopped jalapeƱo pepper (about 2 peppers)
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 1/2 tablespoons fine sea salt
4 (8-ounce) bone-in center-cut heritage pork chops (such as Berkshire)
2 slices bacon
1/2 cup finely diced onion
1/4 cup finely diced apple
1/4 cup thinly sliced mushrooms
1/4 cup finely chopped peeled butternut squash
1/4 cup finely chopped Swiss chard
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil

1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1 teaspoon minced jalapeƱo pepper
1 garlic clove, minced
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup fat-free, less-sodium beef broth
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup no-salt-added canned whole tomatoes, coarsely chopped

2 1/2 cups water
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup stone-ground grits
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons fat-free, less-sodium beef broth

1. To prepare pork, combine first 5 ingredients in an airtight container, stirring until sugar dissolves. Add pork; seal and refrigerate 8 hours or overnight. Remove pork from brine; pat dry. Discard brine.

2. Cook bacon in a nonstick skillet over medium heat until crisp. Remove bacon from pan; crumble. Add 1/2 cup onion and next 5 ingredients (through 1 minced garlic clove) to drippings in pan; cook 8 minutes or until squash is tender and liquid evaporates, stirring frequently. Stir in bacon.

3. Cut 1 (1-inch) horizontal slit through thickest portion of each pork chop to form a pocket. Stuff about 3 tablespoons vegetable mixture into each chop. Sprinkle both sides of chops evenly with 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon black pepper. Heat oil in a large cast-iron skillet over high heat. Add pork to pan; cook 3 minutes on each side or until browned. Remove pork from pan; reduce heat to medium-low.

4. To prepare sauce, add 1 1/2 cups onion to pan; cook 4 minutes or until browned, stirring frequently. Add celery, jalapeƱo, and 1 garlic clove to pan; cook 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Stir in flour; cook 1 minute. Add 1/2 cup broth and 1/2 cup water, stirring until flour dissolves. Add tomatoes; increase heat to medium-high. Return pork to pan; simmer 10 minutes or until desired degree of doneness.

5. To prepare grits, bring 2 1/2 cups water and 1/8 teaspoon salt to boil in a saucepan. Slowly add grits, stirring constantly. Reduce heat, and simmer 20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed, stirring frequently. Remove from heat; stir in butter and 2 tablespoons broth. Serve with pork and sauce.

3 thoughts on “On Friends & Grits

  1. Kristin says:

    I do love me some you!!!! I get a little teary eyed when i read this one. Yes, i've read it a few times thank you very much!!!

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