Today is the day I tell you about someone who inspires me. Today is the day I tell you, again, about one of my favorite people in the whole wide world.

Sometimes people surprise you. And yeah, sometimes those who are closest to you become those who are far away, both in physical distance and in spirit. I’m not always one to spill my feelings, or to share with you every. single. detail of life. It’s just not me. But occasionally, those moments arise, those instances where you are absolutely, completely blown away by emotion, and you are compelled to share.

I told you about my brother. I told you about my gramma. I told you about how hard, and yet how easy, it was to move to California. Those were moments in time that surprised me.

Seeing someone you’ve grown up with become responsible for another human being is another one.

Things have been well, different, between the two of us these past few years. We’ve been on and off, in and out of each other’s lives. We’ve argued, on the phone, in email, via text, and we’ve gone months at a time without speaking to one another. We missed Christmas. We’ve missed birthdays. And to be perfectly honest, the past 3 years of my life haven’t been quite right without the consistency of her phone calls, her minute-long hugs, her random texts.

There’s been an emptiness, to say the least.

And we’ve both missed out on some major events. Maybe we’ve held grudges longer than was needed. Maybe we’ve wanted to strangle the hell out of each other for being so damn stubborn. But I guarantee you, we have thought about each other daily, regardless of it all.

But when she told me she was having a baby, there wasn’t a single second that I hesitated at finding yet another cross-country flight so that I could be there. I’ll tell you now, if having your own children is anything remotely close to watching someone you love so dearly have their children, I just don’t know if I’m cut out for those emotions.

Sitting there for those days, those days where I was, for the vast majority of my time there, completely useless with anything aside from figuring out how to get her baby to cry (and I’ll brag, er, confess, to also getting her to fall asleep a couple of times!), I was so full of inspiration. You see, life isn’t always so easy for everyone. Bad things happen to good people, good people lose people they love at times that never seem to make sense. And we don’t always get a second chance to tell someone we love them; we don’t always get to make up; we don’t always get to say “good night”; we don’t always get to apologize to the people we’ve hurt. We don’t always get to live our lives like the stories are written.

We just don’t.

But what we do get is a chance to make the best of the cards we’re dealt. Some of us are better at that than others. The strong ones, the inspirational ones, the ones we look up to – they wake up every day and they give it their best, even if every day isn’t easy, even if some days just don’t seem worth it.

They find a way.

We all get inspired by different things, different people, different circumstances.

And Kris, if you’re reading this, I am inspired by you.

I’m glad you’re back in my life, too.

4 thoughts on “inspiration

  1. Jon says:

    WOW…..That was awesome….pass the offering plate, I’ve been touched and blessed in a special way; having been through so much of the same with twelve children on each side of Mom & Dad’s families. I do believe Susan/Heather you’ve crossed all the T’s & dotted all the I’s on knowing what we all need to do….Love Unconditionally…..Thanks for the kick in the pants and inspiration….as usuall.

  2. Jennifer says:

    What a great post! You guys are lucky to have such a strong friendship and I’m glad to see you’re back together. That sounds weird, but you know what I mean.

    • Jennifer says:

      Also, that photo of Rayleigh in her yellow sweater is adorable. I can’t tell if she’s smiling or getting ready to cry, but I’m going to go with smiling.

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